Ranger Bars

I’m sitting here with my right lower face totally numb, courtesy of an inferior alveolar nerve block performed for pre-crown placement tooth smoothing. It’s exciting – this tooth has been busted for three years but I finally finagled the time and money to get it fixed! However, it feels very weird. I’ve done these before, but never had one done to me, and, let me tell you, it works. I keep drooling.

It’s spring here, finally, and that means things are getting interesting outside. Last fall I planted tulips and daffodils, which Shark Dog, following behind me, promptly dug up and bit in half because his middle name is total destruction, but a few appear to have made it.


I found this little bugger by the pond and was in such a good mood that I didn’t squash him, though I’ll probably regret that soft-hearted move when the tomatoes come in and he slimes them to death.


Anyway, although in my current numb state I certainly couldn’t enjoy them, I present for your eating pleasure, ranger bars. Remember how when I posted about blondies I told you they were pretty much the easiest things to make ever? Well, I lied, these are easier. They take about 30 minutes to make, only one pan and bowl, and people love ’em, maybe because they fulfill that promise you made yourself in childhood that when you were an adult you’d have your ice cream with all the toppings. All you need is graham cracker crumbs, condensed milk, butter, and whatever random topping-type stuff lives in your freezer or pantry from past cooking projects (nuts, heath bar crunch, chocolate chips, peanut butter chips, coconut). 


Dried fruit would also be ace on top, just remember you do need some melt-y things (like chocolate chips) to help tie the bars together.

Graham cracker crumbs (yes, I use the pre-crumbed kind because they have exactly the same artificial additives and preservatives as the store bought whole graham crackers, and I have no great love for bashing a bag of cookies with a rolling pin) get mixed with melted butter and pressed into a parchment paper lined baking pan, then drizzled with the sweetened condensed milk.

drizzle 1

Action sequence!

drizzle 2 drizzle 3 drizzle 4

You won’t necessarily need the entire can of condensed milk – just pour until you have a good coating over the entire bed of graham cracker crumbs and use the remainder to make yourself a Thai iced coffee :).

milk coated

Now’s the part where you get to go wild! Coat thickly with your chosen toppings

with toppings

and 30 minutes later you’ll have this delightful golden goodness to dig into. The parchment paper makes it a blast to get out of the pan, and helps to control mess as you cut as there will be crumbles, which of course must be eaten for quality control.



Ranger Bars
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  1. 2 cups graham cracker crumbs
  2. 1 stick (4 oz) butter
  3. 1 can sweetened condensed milk
  4. ~2 cups assorted toppings
  1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Line a 9x13" baking sheet with parchment paper.
  2. Melt the butter in a bowl and add the graham cracker crumbs. Mix well.
  3. Press the crumb/butter mixture into the prepared pan, spreading evenly. Top with a coating of sweetened condensed milk. Sprinkle the toppings over.
  4. Bake for 30 minutes. Let cool for 15 minutes before slicing into bars.
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